Gay Parents Better Than Straight Parents? What Research Says

Exactly what I would have said, JS (well you probably said it better than I).

Also, as was pointed out in the article, children of same sex couples are more well adjusted (which only makes sense to me). Their parents know exactly who they are, whereas some hetero marriages the parents aren't as well adjusted and confident in who they are.

It was very delightful for me to see more and more hetero males taking active rolls in child raising, cried. The traditional roll of the fathers is slowing evolving.

My son-in-law and daughter have been married for 22 years and he is one of the old school dads that leaves all the parenting up to his wife. He's going to be rudely awakened some day when his children see him as basically a stranger and cannot truly relate to him. He's a great provider and a beautiful human but he does not engage with the children and often is completely lost in knowing what is going on in the household. It is as if he just hangs out around home with full service in being fed and having all of his needs met and when he comes home his time is his own.

With same-sex partners there is not this type of roll playing.

Yes your son in law needs to wise up thats true. However, the fact that its a hetersexual household is heart warming. The crap about gay partners not roll playing is true. Of course the rolls are not defined, how can they be when the true differences aren't there for the kids to learn from. Male and female partners are the natural and proper example just by being together. The rest comes from proper examples shown over time. He is a good provider and she is a good wife and mother. Hopefully he will become more involved but at least the correct moral foundation is in place for the kids to see first hand.

My father was born in 1902 and was totally engaged in raising all four of us. He let me shadow him continually and let me get into every project he was trying to concentrate upon. He gave me my first hatchet at age 8 and I felt like I was on top of the world. I practiced chopping kindling until I got it down to a science. I mucked stalls, pitched hay, fed and paid attention to the animals. I loved helping grow vegetables and fruits and learned a lot about being self-sufficient. I am so grateful that he was the type he was and even the domestic chores, reading to us, listening to a radio program or just playing was something he thoroughly enjoyed. I've tried to be as gentle of a parent as he was.

It's funny though, my sisters and my brother whined and groused and avoided doing what I loved to do. They had tempers and didn't treat their children very well. They were more like my mother who really didn't enjoy life and was usually only motivated by anger.

I think both heterosexuals and homosexuals as parents have their ups and downs but get a great match and their children soar.

Mr Santorum is the only one running who can really turn this country around. His stand for common decency is a huge improvement over the trashy belief system we have in the WH now.

jahaus, like thinking females of rape and incest that conceive need to view this as a "gift" and never a peek about what the rapist deserves?

Santorum does not believe in equality for all so right there he's not qualified for the "common decency" award.

I did not not know that "hate" was a belief system. And what exactly is trashy about a loving couple, committed to one another with two beautiful children? Oh, I know, they are democrats. And not white to boot.

Over thirty years ago my sister came to live with me in Portland OR after living in Southern California for years. She was so freaked out when she saw a same-sex couple she behaved very inappropriately and one time ran from a grocery store after encountering one. I asked her what the heck was going on and she said that homosexuals were embarrassing and disgusting. I told her I found her to be disgusting for not opening her mind to reality. She'd be brainwashed with dogma, indoctrination and propaganda and I asked her to get over this as quickly as possible. I was appalled that she'd be so offended but I lived in a city that accepted others a whole lot easier than other areas in the country. Education is the key.

Mr. Santorum said: "I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created - in the sense of rape - but nevertheless a gift in a broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given you." His "fair" solution would be to deny a woman the right to have control over her own body and force her to continue a pregnancy that resulted from a rape. To "make the best out of it." Kind of like Bobby Knight's comment that if rape is inevitable the woman should relax and enjoy it. And the "vast majority" of people did not receive the hateful, ignorant indoctrination that you claim to have gotten about gay people. Had the majority been taught the hate you were taught, they would not overwhelmingly believe that gay people should have the same rights as all Americans; the majority would not favor permitting gays to marry. The only perversion or abnormality is your sickening hatred of gay people. You are others like you have been brainwashed to believe that you are somehow better than gay people when, in fact, the opposite is true. Your hatred and ignorance is what is embarrassing and disgusting. That is why it is rejected by normal Americans.

gatoralum, I worked with rape victims that didn't mentally or emotionally survive their attacks. I would not like to think how they might treat their child if it was conceived by rape. These were broken women and not parent material. Rick Santorum has said over and over again that he believes women of rape should embrace their "gift" if they conceive. He has never once, in the videos or reports mentioned anything about the responsibility of the rapist. What if these rape victims couldn't support the child they conceived? The rapist certainly wouldn't be willing to support them and most of the right wing aren't interested in this issue either.

js, I like the way you think and share how you feel with people.

Thanks, DisplayName!

Straight parents gave us Rick Santorum

and what disaster do you think Rosie O'Donnell and partner will concoct?

Yes, he would turn it around from moving forward to it moving backwards, and off a cliff!

No, he wouldn't turn it around, just drive it backwards off the cliff without looking.

and what disaster do you think Rosie O'Donnell and partner will concoct?

None. They will raise better children than Christo-fascist Rick and his abortion doctor loving wife.

Whatever Rosie and partner raise, that child will not be mainstream normal. There are loonies on both sides of the coin, it is not limited to just one side or the other. To assume that every gay couple will be great or terrible parents is flat out ignorant, just as assuming that every straight couple would be good or bad parents is ignorant.

That's the point. Gay parents are equal to hetero parents. There's no difference.

No that's not the point! As usual the gay supporter twists the meaning to suite the sick homosexual agenda. MN made a good point with the wrong words is all. Try again mom, its all good.

Dnftt

He's an old one, mikebank and obviously hasn't opened his mind all that much. His comments with "sick" and "trash" show his true colors. Maligning others is not that beneficial in making one's point.

The point, jahaus, is that gay parents do not poison the children's minds with the ignorance, bigotry and hate that so clearly fill yours. Are you a parent? Do you teach your children to believe the things you post here? If so, you have proven the point of the article.

I am not convinced that it is healthy for a young male child to grow up in an environment that teaches him that 2 men are married and his parents (or a young girl with 2 women). I would think there would be issues with this childs own identity. What we grow up with we deem normal because in our environment it is, even if it isn't.

I look back into my own childhood and there was a learning curve having two different sex parents. My Mom and Dad had notable differences and I don't think I would have understood the opposite sex if I had two of the same sex parents. I would have possibly wondered what was wrong with me that my Mom's loved each other but for some odd reason I was attracted to men. I could see where there would be an identity crisis for these kids. I am so glad I had a traditional family.

Who cares that you are not convinced? It is none of your business. If it were the business of others how a loving, committed couple chose to raise their children (in the absence of abuse or neglect) I would want children to not be in homes where the parents are bigoted towards gay people; homes where the parents teach their children that to be gay is an "abomination"; homes where children are taught that gay person is not "normal"; homes where people who have absolutely no understanding of what goes on in a home where the parents are a gay couple presume to know that it would be had for children raised in that home, despite all of the proof to the contrary; homes where the parents are so incredibly stupid that they think that a person could he "influenced" to be gay because "...their mom's loved each other." That kind of a home @!$%#s kids up.

I assume you resemble that last remark???????

If you assume that, you did not bother to read the post. The @!$%#ed up kids come from the homes of parents who teach them bigotry; who teach them that gay people are not normal; who teach them the utterly ignorant belief that being raised by a gay couple would cause the child to be confused about their own sexuality. In other words, in the homes of those who would post what you post.

By the way, did you know where most gay people grew up? In the homes of straight parents. The sexual orientation of the parent is irrelevant to the sexual orientation of the child. You cannot be taught to be gay. You can, however, be taught to be a bigot.

I am a parent that gently guided my children. I asked the to do tasks, not told them to do what I wanted them to do. I answered all of their questions not just the ones I was comfortable in answering and researched with them when I didn't have an answer. My children were a part of me not separated due to their age so they grew into adults that were accepting of others, treated all equally and used critical thinking and actually explored and inquired when they did not know something about others. Same-sex couples have basically the same approach in teaching their young. They don't belittle, demean, threaten or admonish their children to get control as they know a child must learn to control themselves.

js why don't you let Mike the sperm-bank speak for himself. Gator in 5.5, Yes I'm not exactly young, but I am young enough to recognize your point. Its a bunch of crap! Gays are poisoning innocent kids all the time and the gays are the biggest bigots of them all. Talk about reverse discrimination! For the most part heteros, myself included, don't care how gays live as long as they don't try to force people to accept it as normal. Sure, the only people they hurt are themselves. That's their right. They won't be satisfied with that though. They are systematically turning the tide with all this mushy crap about kindness and tolerance. These are good things but they have twisted and used them to help quantify perversity. I am a parent of 5 well adjusted kids who now what side of the track they belong. They are all out on thier own now and all but the youngest have started families. They all believe in the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. I brought them up right. To bad your parents couldn't manage that for you too.

You are entitled to your opinion just as I am entitled to mine, jahaus. Please understand that my experience is very different from yours and I would appreciate it if you'd just let it go and ignore my comments. You seem very mean-spirited about this subject and I'm not interested in mean-spirits.

You seem very mean-spirited

Right, A self hating homosexual in denial. As a confirmed heterosexual, I do not share Jahaus' fear that the more i am exposed to gay men, the more attractive they become. He wants them in the closet so they won't tempt him. After all, being gay is a choice, right? He is afraid that he just might make that choice.

I find it very distressing that so many are threatened by their sexuality. It is a simple torture and fearing others to the point of needless and demeaning attacks certainly makes me wonder if they are afraid of who they really are and who they desire. Most of us could care less and as a female I have lesbian friends. They've never been a threat only a joy to have as friends.

I find it very distressing that so many are threatened by their sexuality

*Cried gives two thumbs up*

Somehow standing up for your beliefs such as:

"They all believe in the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. I brought them up right. To bad your parents couldn't manage that for you too."

Gets twisted into this warped thinking:

A self hating homosexual in denial

Seriously? give me a break, threatened by his own sexuality? I think not, I think it just the opposite and he is willing to stand up and say so.

JS parents, unlike yours and Jahaus, did not not teach bigotry. They did not teach that gay people are perverts. They did not teach JS to hate that which is different or that which he or she did not understand. Parents who teach what you and Jahaus post are no different that the parents who taught that black people are inferior, dirty, mentally weaker. They just picked different target for their ignorant hatred.

Anyone with such vitriolic hatred of gay people must have doubts about who they would be sexually attracted to had their parents not filled their heads with such pernicious lies about gay people. Perhaps had you been raised by parents who did not see fit to fill your head with lies, MN Mom, there would be two MN moms, living happily ever after. You will never know.

Your so consumed with your own agenda and rigid in your beliefs that you have to attack those who believe differently.

Not supporting gay marriage does not equate to hating gays, I have friends and family that are gay. My best man in my wedding is black and far from hated, dirty, inferior or any of the other words YOU chose to use to describe a black person so lets talk ignorant here. You believe in gay marriage, I don't. That does not make you a heterophobe just someone who feels differently about something than I do. I am not going to change you and your not going to change me. That does not make you a bad person that we should vaporize from existence. Man get over yourself...seriously!

My parents did not raise me as you have incorrectly stated as a tool to support your belief that you are right and everyone else who disagrees is wrong. I am comfortable with my values, beliefs, and (mirror) damn I like myself. I don't have to attack you because you believe another way. I find it so amusing that 99.9% of all posts that are hateful and full of prejudicial remarks are those made by gay marriage supporters based solely on that someone does not agree with gay marriage. There are no victims here. Talk about spoiled little immature brats who are not comfortable enough with themselves or that many people of varying views walk the earth so they stomp attack and whine at those that don't fit their mold............transparent.......uh huh, you certainly are!

I was very lucky, gatoralum, as I was raised that all humans are sacred and deserved to be honored and embraced. In my experience this is the absolute truth for me. I raised my children to understand that we will not always like everyone in our lives yet it does not mean they do not have value.

Jahaus and MN American Mom think differently than I think but their voices are no less important as they teach us that fear and hate skews our views and causes harm to others.

A dear friend became angry with me when I was alarmed by his daughter at age 11 riding her bicycle several miles on a busy highway to a city closest to their home. Instead of understanding my love for his child he felt that diminishing my children would be a way to retaliate for having the nerve to be concerned for his daughter's safety thus thinking I was criticizing his parenting skills for which I was not. He said to me, "Your son's a faggot, your youngest child is a spoiled brat and your oldest lives in lala land". This, of course, had nothing to do with my concern for his child, one I'd known and adored from birth, all he cared about was striking out at me due to my telling him something he didn't want to hear.

My son has many gay and lesbian friends as my daughter's do. When someone asks my son if he is gay he responds, "Does it matter?"

Teach our children well as the song implies and teaching them well means, to me, to love one another unconditionally.

The more I talk with other people and ask them to share about their family, where they live, how the live, etc. the more common what I once thought was strange becomes. Talking is good. Not sure why every adult doesn't get that.

I've relayed this before so sorry if this is a retread. My uncle was gay and didn't really share that for the longest time until he had to come to grips with the fact that he had AIDS. We had a couple of years to relate to the real persons. My grandma never got there. When he passed, she told her church friends that he got HIV from drug use because that was easier for her than telling them he was gay. To me, that is plain awful. Whatever happens to people that makes it easy to dismiss others needs to be identified, worked on, weeded out and stopped.

My mother died of cancer when cancer was a big scare and many people treated it like it was something other than a disease and akin to what some feel about AIDS. It truly bothered me that the uninformed often wreaked havoc when none was necessary. I've had friends die of AIDS and never felt uncomfortable hugging them or being close to them. I was in charge of medicating an adopted child from Africa with AIDS. She'd come for her medication and give me a lingering hug. When some of the staff discovered she had the disease they were freaked out and this upset me.

Experience and the quest for knowledge is all we need to clear our minds of prejudice and bias. I would loath being ignorant and judgmental as it must be a torturous life to live.

I find those that are unwilling to embrace all of humanity missing out on many of its joys and find this a sad situation. What's inside a human is all that needs to be addressed not the outer shell. Whether it be a human that embraces same-sex, disabled, disfigured, elderly, poor or anything else all of this is minor to someone that loves all humans.

My mom hosted one of my uncle's second to last Christmases. I think all of us were wondering about HIV/AIDS at the time and what was safe or not. But a lot of us bucked up, learned some things, talked about it and then had a pretty fun holiday. My grandmother was willing to host the holiday only if my uncle's partner didn't come which is one reason it was celebrated at our house rather than at her's. I didn't see any upside to how my grandmother dealt with it and I am sad that bitterness in her is a lasting memory of her in me.

jahaus,

How could I have been so wrong all these years? Thanks for your wisdom.

jahaus, just a heads up, name calling is against the code of honor. I'd be a bit more careful when ranting.

Display, glad to help you get straight! LOL

Jahaus. My parents taught me to not hate people because they are different. It is really that simple. And even though you were taught otherwise, it is not too late for you to change; to join the decent people who have moved beyond the ignorant views of past generations. You are part of an ever shrinking minority of Americans who cling to old prejudices and old and discounted value systems. There are still some nations where the majority share your views. Iran, for example, or most nations with a majority of muslims. You would be so much more comfortable among those who think like you.

Many of the same-sex couples I know also foster children. They were well cared for and and seem to bond well. I cannot say this for all the foster parents I've encountered.

Dnftt

pretty much that you been shunned on the basis of your dickish comments. I am telling you this as courtesy because I am sure you have a few redeeming qualities that are not readily apparent. Anyhow, how about a hug?

I'll add my hug, too, DisplayName. Perhaps a group hug would be of great benefit to jahaus.

js,

It is worth a try. I am not much of physical contact guy but sometimes it just seems like the right thing to do.

It makes sense to think that gay couples are just as capable of heterosexual ones in regard to the upbringing of kids. The results of the study are interesting but I am not surprised over them. I think parents, regardless of their sexuality, offer something to their children that exceeds what most parents do. The differences in what a parent excels at is more a function of the person than where they lie in the spectrum of orientations.

I agree, DisplayName. I came about by my mother's affair. Her husband accepted me and raised me as his own while she rejected me completely, unless I gained attention for an achievement then she took the credit. She was a broken soul and tortured me as much as she could get away with. I did not resent or hate her for this as my "Dad" was very good about explaining how it is that some people cannot bond to another. I avoided her as much as possible and stuck with my dad and he was my protector. Now he basically raised me on my own and was not improper so both straight and same-sex parents certainly have this capacity also. When anyone states that one human cannot parent well and has ulterior motives I find this ludicrous.

Ok thanks for clearing that up for me Display. Childish nonsense like that is to be expected from gays and their supporters. js sorry if I hurt anyones feelings by using a characterization. Telling Display and Gater they are fools simply put their actions and beliefs in the proper catagory so our readers wouldn't be confused by their silly rhetoric.

js,

Sounds like you took what life gave you and figured a way with your Dad's help to make things work.

My dad told me, jahaus, that those that behave in the manner you've behaved on this article are starved for attention. He told me I should always be attentive to those that bait others, name-call and behave disrespectfully toward others as they are only jerking our chains and to always show respect for them so they might learn a bit about the concept. I hope I've been of assistance.

js, I'm sure your dads intentions where honorable but somewhere along the line you also listened to some one telling you its ok to be gay. My comments on here aren't baiting or disrespectful to anything deserving. The topic is a disgrace to human kind. Acceptance of the gay thing is dragging our society to the gutter. If I'm jerking your chain it simply means I'm striking a cord and my point is acknowledged. I applaud your gentility but you could never convince me to change my mind or teach me anything accept that you are nice but misguided.

We shall never agree on this subject, jahaus, yet I thank you for your respectful comment.

We are all handicapped in one way or another, we were born this way. To reject a human simply due to believing they are not designed the same as as we are is a handicap. When a child is born that is homosexual are they simply to be discarded and pronounced unsuitable to live in our society? Do they grow up maligned, accused, abused and hated simply because they are gay? Do they hide in a closet and become "confirmed bachelors" or "old maids" simply to pacify society? Do they marry the opposite sex to appear to be heterosexual so they are not shunned or rejected by their heterosexual parents? The GLBT community has had a very difficult time attempting to be as they were born and many have made this worse by assuming they are not "normal". All humans are sacred and to discount another is a huge mistake. Gays are not "dragging our society to the gutter" as you say, those that hate gays are dragging our society into the gutter in my opinion.

When a child is born that is homosexual are they simply to be discarded and pronounced unsuitable to live in our society? Do they grow up maligned, accused, abused and hated simply because they are gay? Do they hide in a closet and become "confirmed bachelors" or "old maids" simply to pacify society? Do they marry the opposite sex to appear to be heterosexual so they are not shunned or rejected by their heterosexual parents?

Obviously, Jahaus' answer to each of this would be a resounding YES.

Unfortunately, some will say, "YES" gatoralum. I know people that say they are uncomfortable around disabled or mentally challenged people so this tells me that "different" isn't something we nurture and embrace but something we turn away from. In my opinion all humans are valuable and part of our learning base. If we can learn to understand each other we'll all be happier people. The key is encouraging the reluctant to see that "different" is good not something to fear and reject.

I am just grateful that I am "different" from MN Mom and Jahaus and that my children are being raised so that they are also different. They will not be bigots toward gay people and want to deny the same rights that they enjoy.

I'm certainly grateful for you also gatoralum. My children have been around the GLBT community all of their lives and they are ages 45, 33 and 29.

I do know that people reluctant to expose themselves to "different" find it difficult to accept but that isn't a good enough excuse in my opinion. I was raised in a all White community yet never had a problem embracing everyone no matter what, sexual orientation, color or where they came from. I met my first lesbian at age 4. I knew this woman was different from other women but she was perfectly fine with me. This was 1948 and my sisters brought their lesbian friends home to stay with us when they were on leave from the service. I am blessed that my family loved diversity and embraced it.

I'm 48. My children (16 & 18) educated me and brought me around to understand that there is no difference between the anti-black bigots of my youth, who I despised, and the homophobes of today. Homophobia is going the same way of racial bigotry.

We've kept the GLBT community in the closet for so long that now that they feel they have a chance in society many think this is a "new" event. Handicapped and mentally challenged children were once put into institutions simply because society thought they could not exist outside in the world others embraced and enjoyed. We've made a similar mistake with our gay and lesbian children. Rejecting another human simply due to not fitting a certain pattern is criminal and until we as a society process this crime our GLBT friends will continue to struggle.

Well put Random! Its true, human nature works that way sometimes.